Widow-Brides
Based on an historic Indian Epic ‘Mahabharata’ a story of one of the deities ‘Aravan’ who marries a female form of a male deity ‘Lord Krishna’, the annual Koovagam festival is held at a remote village of Koovagam in Tamilnadu, India. Thousands of transgender people convene in this ancient temple for a grand wedding where temple priests marry them in place of the deity ‘Aravaan’ himself by tying the ‘Holy Nuptial thread’ to them. It is one of the most extravagant event for anyone witnessing. The flamboyance and fun with which they prepare and arrive for the wedding is so evident.
The next day as per Mahabharatha, Aravaan dies in the war making them all widows. Becoming a widow in the most heart wrenching way where their nuptial threads are cut off and they wail deeply in sorrow. Although this is the story tradition on the surface, their sorrows were more present. They couldn’t grieve the irony of being a one-day wife any more, because, they’re going through much more struggles of finding someone to love, respect and cherish them. Being a wife/spouse remains only a dream for the vast majority of them just like the festival symbolizes! Even the simples joy in life, comes to them at a very steep price.
On top of all this, it is supposed to be an exclusive celebration time for the transgender community, but the bare truth is that, it is not entirely festive and happy times for them. Even at these times they are being scarred by thousands of men both sexually and mentally. Just because some of them choose to be sex workers due to economic or other conditions, does not mean that they all can be taken for granted. Unless the government could come up with severe protective measures, Koovagam will never be a true festive place for them. Pathetically, our transgender people have to deal with these animalistic behavior for most of their lives, like they always have been. In reality they are on their own. Among all those hopeless scenes, we did get to see some hope. A Trans-woman was fighting back with an offender at one point. It was a reassuring sight indeed. One could witness some amazing minds, splendid love, strong hearts, and solid determination. It is not easy to live their lives. There has got to be a better way to educate ourselves to be rid of the transphobia. Seriously, they deserve much better from all of us. That very change could begin with, addressing them decently in a way that they would prefer. Instead of addressing them with indecent and bizarre names or numbers, because if you do, it shows the world who you are, not who they are!
Just like their rainbow flag, they display vibrant colors of all natures and temperatures. Just because we do not understand them, their life and truth cannot be denied. May be men and women lack that special sense to understand this other side of nature. Still, if not for this special sense, we could at least have some common sense to treat them as fellow human beings and be compassionate.
